Updated: Mar 3, 2019
You can take all the birth classes is the world, read all the What To Expect books and buy all the cute baby products, and still be left with the feeling that something is missing. What is it? What were you trying to grasp during your pregnancy that slipped through your hands and heart? Your partner did what you asked him to do and read the Dad Dude's Guide To Pregnancy, so what was actually missing?
We've become a culture so used to information, and getting that information FAST, that we may have forgotten our roots when it comes to birth. Birth is NOT about assimilating facts from books, it's not about birth plans and other tools to plan your way through every possible decision that could come up. In fact, our mind isn't even programmed to retain the info we read in books when we are in labor. True story. Why is that? Well, it's really difficult to recall heady information when we're swimming in our subconscious zone in labor, or when we're worried, stressed out, and uncertain.
Even when we feel like we are in tune with our birthing needs, we plan our baby shower or Blessingway, we plan the nursery, we plan which essential oils will help us feel the most calm during labor, we plan our birth bag; heck, some of us pre-plan the argument our provider will have with us if we don't agree with his or her recommendations! And we are stressed out, anxious, and worried, and desperately trying to get it right.
Birthing From Within is a mindset that approaches birth a little differently. When you take a BFW class or online course, you are really being taught to unlearn everything you have been conditioned to believe about birth your whole life. You're being taught how to Plan Less, and Feel More. Birth Plans? No. (Well, you can, but we might look at them a little differently than most mainstream classes do). Your doctor's plans differ from your desires? We approach these differences with love and understanding, not defensiveness and assumptions, keeping YOU in the driver's seat. Husband or birth partner thinks he doesn't need an online course to learn about birth? I get it. Once he can feel the difference between BFW and mainstream culture, he'll get it too. I am NOT teaching you how to plan your way into or out of a birth decision. I'm NOT lecturing you about cervixes and dilation. I'm NOT ignoring dad or placating mom. We are keeping it real with lots of practical tips, showing you how to practice coping through the pain of contractions, and...this part is the kicker... teaching you to tune into your deepest beliefs about birth and support.
"In labor and birth, it's all about the feels!"
Maybe you're curious about this idea to Feel More. Our culture has evolved so greatly that we sometimes forget what it even means to feel. In labor and birth, it is all about the feels! Sure, you can benefit from a background in the 'nuts and bolts' of birth so you can understand what your own preferences are (for example, how do you feel about breaking your bag of waters? How about if someone suggests an epidural? What about those newborn decisions, do you want the hepatitis B shot for your baby?). It's one thing to prefer to avoid an induction of labor with Pitocin. Cool! I'm glad you've gotten that far. Yet it's another thing completely to be facing a Pitocin induction, the very thing you sought to avoid. That's where Birthing From Within comes in, to help you understand exactly what FEELING you are hoping to avoid and how you can cope through these moments of uncertainty. Birthing From Within can help you understand how your relationships are affected by birth decisions, how YOU are affected by your birth and your transformation into becoming a mother and a father. Childbirth education becomes way more than assimilating obstetric information. It becomes planning less, and feeling more. There are other classes that teach how to relax into labor, and that part is wonderful. But, what about when you are staring your birth preferences down, totally rocked by how your birth is unfolding, unsure how to plan your way out? At that crucial moment it becomes imperative that you've taken the time to understand your own mind, feel your intuition and connect with your partner. Plan Less, Feel More.
Not sure what I mean yet? In birth, you are accessing your intuition, your right side of your brain, your divine feminine energy. Every time you are brought out of this mode and into your thinking mind, your planning mind, your left side of your brain, you can actually be making your labor longer! It has to do with the hormones flowing through your body. You need a rise in oxytocin to go into labor and that oxytocin is what keeps labor progressing. Oxytocin is the "feel good" hormone. Every time you are brought into your thinking mind, your adrenaline rises and the direct consequence is a dip in ocytocin levels. No way, right? Yep! So how do you keep your adrenaline low and allow your oxytocin to rise? You've got it. Plan less. Feel more.
While you'll learn your fair share of factual information, what we DO with that information differs greatly than in mainstream birth classes. Believe it of not, dads are usually the ones who are blown away by what they learn in class, and it's not the factual information they retain. They practice...feeling. We make space for fathers' processes, and a beautiful thing happens. They really desire to help you out, and to understand their role, and finally they have someone shooting it to them straight in a way that makes sense. And they feel more confident in embracing the uncertainty of birth, while planning less.
Plan Less. Feel More.
P.S. If you're interested in Feeling More, you might be interested in my Birth Affirmation blog posts: